Leila's Homecoming

March 18-24, 2013

Last picture with Mom in the NICU

Last picture with Dad in the NICU

Caleb could actually come visit when we were in the Pediatric Unit. He LOVED all of the toys!

Leila came to play too. I think we broke some rules because we weren't supposed to take her out of her room with her not in her crib.

So much fun in one room!

In bed with Mom

On the couch with Dad. He stayed Friday night at the hospital too. He brought some DVDs from home so we could have a date night, I think we only watched about half an hour before just going to sleep.

Saturday, one week old, going home!

Getting dressed!

What a cutie!

Her mouth stayed the same after pulling the binky out.

So excited to be going home!

She's so small in the car seat.

When we drove up, Caleb and Grammy were kicking the soccer ball against the garage door.

He was trying to climb up to see Leila, he then closed the door and wanted Mom, Dad and Grammy to all play with him. He didn't know about Leila intruding on his turf.

Thanks for the Welcome Home sign Grammy!

We gave Caleb full attention

and let Grammy hold Leila.

We gave Caleb a doll to take care of. He was really cute with it and was gentle and sweet with it for about ten minutes. Then he was done with it and threw it and 

Snuggles on Dad

VSD, NICU and HOME!

March 18-24, 2013

Sunday afternoon the hospital pediatrician came to do Leila’s check-up. During the check-up she heard a heart murmur and told us she would order an echocardiogram to find the cause of the heart murmur. Monday morning the tech performed the echocardiogram and sent the results to be read by the pediatric cardiologist at Texas Children’s Hospital. After the test, Leila was sent to the NICU to have her blood pressure checked.

While the nurse practitioner was listening to her heart and taking her blood pressure she had a cyanotic episode. Basically, she had a large buildup of mucous that her body has been trying to get out. She then choked on some of the mucous and turned blue. This had happened when I was feeding her the previous night. She started choking on mucous so Allen got the nurse while I patted her on the back and then the nurse helped us suction the mucous out. Then the nurse kept an eye on her in the nursery and continued to suction it out when she would have an episode. Anyway, she had two cyanotic episodes under the supervision of the NICU staff within half an hour, where she turned blue and couldn’t pass the mucous on her own and her heart rate dropped from around 140 to 70 bpm. The nurse came back to Allen and me to tell us Leila had been admitted to the NICU for monitoring.

About half an hour after Leila was admitted to the NICU we got the result that she had three things wrong with her heart, two of which are common among newborns, PDA and PFO.  These typically resolve on their own within a few days of birth. The third problem, ventricular septal dysfunction (VSD), is not rare either. It is a hole between the lower two chambers of the heart that can heal on its own if it is small enough, otherwise it requires surgery. Leila’s is classified as a moderate size, which means we wait and see the pediatric cardiologist when she is two months old to see if it is healing.

I was initially very overwhelmed when the pediatrician talked to us about VSD and about Leila being in the NICU. It didn't help that I was emotionally and physically exhausted from giving birth the previous day either. I felt like it was my fault, like if I had been better about taking pre-natal vitamins or had done something differently when pregnant that she wouldn't have to have this. (The information the doctor gave us said "other than avoiding alcohol and antiseizure medicines, there is no known way to prevent a VSD". So that made me feel better!) By a couple of hours later I was feeling better about everything and then after Allen and one of our friends, BJ, gave Leila a blessing on Monday evening, I felt a lot more comfort and peace. 

If she only had VSD and not the cyanotic episodes, she would not be monitored in the NICU. The two are unrelated and the main cause for concern for the NP was that Leila’s heart rate dropped so drastically. We feel very fortunate that it happened in the hospital where she was able to be cared for immediately and receive the monitoring she has. Things have been going well and they will most likely release her this weekend.

We are also grateful that my mom has been able to be here since Sunday night. She has been taking care of Caleb and brought him to visit us in the hospital twice a day while we were there. Now that I’ve been discharged from the hospital, she takes a shift holding Leila in the NICU while I go home to be with Allen and Caleb between nursings. And then she takes care of him when we’re both here. I’m also very grateful that Allen gets two weeks of paternity leave.

The proud grandma

I love my kids!

Monday morning Caleb realized Leila was a little human and loved pointing to her nose, eyes and mouth. Whenever he saw her stick her tongue out, he would stick his out and make mommy, daddy and Grammy all stick our tongues out too. Leila, Caleb and I sat on the bed together and Caleb would lay across me, looking at her and then resume climbing on me as I tried to protect Leila, then he would kiss her forehead and her hand and her leg.

Pulling on her ear

I love you, you love me... We are a happy family!

Strapped down for the echocardiogram

Between the curtain he played peek-a-boo in and watching Tangled, Caleb could survive hanging out in my hospital room for about 30-45 minutes before we had to leave to find the fish, run in the lobby or walk in the grass.

Welcome to the NICU

To be honest, having Leila in the NICU was harder than I anticipated. When they first said she was being monitored there, I didn't realize they meant that it was for a few days. No one told me that's what it meant. I was thinking a few hours. No other parents were in the NICU and I wondered if I was allowed/supposed to be there. It was confusing and frustrating. There was constant beeping of monitors and cords attached to Leila. I kept wondering why we were there. She was huge compared to all of the other babies in there and seemed like she had no problems compared to any of them either.

They let me stay in my room in the hospital for a couple more nights so I could come in and nurse her during the night. Then I spent two nights at home and they tube-fed her the milk I had pumped. I was able to sleep better at home but still woke up to pump and then immediately went back to nurse her in the morning. She was having reflux and problems nursing and didn't have much desire to nurse sometimes but after meeting with several lactation consultants, no one had any additional advice.

Friday they needed the space in the NICU and moved Leila up to the pediatric room in preparation for us to leave the next day. The last night you have a parent-care night to make sure you can handle everything. However, in the pediatric unit you have to have an adult with the child at all times. Allen and I had to attend a CPR class before we could bring Leila home and my mom had to be with Caleb. I wasn't sure who to call that didn't have kids. Thankfully my Relief Society president at church was prompted to call me and come to the hospital, even when I didn't answer my phone. She held Leila while we attended the CPR class.

Friday night I spent in the hospital with Leila in a pediatric room. Saturday by 1:15 pm we were home. It had been an exhausting week physically and emotionally. I was grateful to be home. I was also thankful to have my mom here. Leila's reflux was so bad and she continued having little choking episodes so my mom would sleep with Leila in her arms or in the bouncer and take care of her so I could sleep. Then she would bring her to me when she was ready to nurse.

Mommy giving Leila a "bath"

What a little trooper!

Welcoming Leila Nicole

March 11-17, 2013

Monday, March 11 was Leila's due date. At my doctor's appointment I was dilated to a three and they scheduled me to be induced the following Monday. That night I had strong contractions about 10 minutes apart that lasted a minute or two... I got excited after it went on for a couple of hours, thinking I was going into labor, nope. As the week progressed I continued to have contractions (which is usual for me during the full second and third trimesters), continued to be more uncomfortable (pubic symphysis pain and sciatica) but had gotten to the point where I didn't mind one more week to get things ready for Leila's arrival and spend more one-on-one time with Caleb.

Leila on her due date

The rest of the week was just the usual. Allen went to work. Caleb and I cleaned, went grocery shopping, napped, played outside and at the park...

Fast forward to Saturday: Contractions the same as usual... I expected to be moaning and crying if it was true labor. We cleaned, went to Sam's Club, played at the park, and sometimes I'd have to lean on the cart or sit down when a contraction would hit.

Then at 3 pm decided I should start timing just to see how close the contractions were. They were five minutes apart. That put me in go mode because I thought I was probably in labor. After two more hours of that, making and eating dinner, folding clothes, and putting Caleb to bed, I had to not just stop to breathe through contractions, but kneel on the floor. We called in back up to come be with Caleb, packed and got to the hospital by 7-ish.

Not an attractive picture but Allen got one of me having a contraction just walking to the car. 

I only had to kneel in our driveway once, in the parking lot once and waiting to go into triage once. I was too proud to have Allen drop me off or get a wheelchair or bring our duffel bag in because I felt fine between contractions and wondered if I really needed to be coming in. As long as I could kneel down, I was okay. The contractions when I had to sit in the car were pretty uncomfortable.

The contraction passed: time to pose for pictures. 

Same shirt I wore to the hospital with Caleb... it was meant to be. 

As I sat waiting to be taking to a triage room, I sat next to a woman who was definitely not in labor and we chatted until I had to kneel on the floor to breathe through contractions. That was when the nurse came to get us and I felt dumb for making the nurse wait until I could walk to get to a room.

This next stuff may be TMI for some people...  In the triage room once the nurse realized I was already dilated to 8 cm, things started happening. All of the sudden four nurses were all filling out paperwork, drawing blood, calling the on-call doctor (my OB was on spring break), wheeling me to a delivery room and hooking me up to monitors. The nurses basically told me at that point that I was too late for an epidural. I could still breathe through the contractions fine but needed Allen to help hold my legs because I was shaking so badly.

Dilated to a 9 (and still smiling)

Sometime around 8:15-8:30 pm the doctor arrived, broke my water and they told me to start pushing. This is when things got bad. As soon as she laid me flat on my back and broke my water a lot of pressure was gone, it felt like Leila was up in my ribs and I didn't want to push. They made me push and it sucked. After a few tries, the on-call doctor, who was not my favorite, left and I got up on my knees. Two minutes later I was pushing and could not stop. The nurse held Leila's head as she yelled to get the doctor scrubbed up again. I grunted/yelled like an amazon woman (embarrassing) and they made me flip onto my back again. Within another couple of pushes, Leila was on my belly instead of in it.

Leila Nicole was born at 8:52 pm on Saturday, March 16th. She weighed 7 lb 9 oz, was 19 1/2 inches long and her head circumference was 14 inches.

Allen held her while the doctor stitched me up, not waiting for lidocaine to numb me at all before starting. 

I loved holding her but was still really shaky.

I showered while Allen watched the nurses bathe Leila. It took a long time to bathe her because she was so cheesy. That's why she was so pale instead of pink.

The proud parents.

She was so alert with wide open eyes for the first hour or so after birth. Allen went to get food and with the nurses gone, Leila and I shared a mommy daughter bonding moment. Tears came to my eyes as I realized she was my little baby, a perfect little girl.

It has been fun to watch Caleb understand a little at a time who/what Leila is. Sunday morning when Allen brought him to the hospital, Caleb ran into my room and over to my bed. He didn't notice the little baby I passed to Allen. He just jumped up to come be with Mom, I loved it!

After a while of being here, he realized Dad was paying attention to someone other than him. Allen introduced him to Leila and he didn't care. Sunday evening he would point to Leila when we asked him where she was and he gave Leila a kiss before leaving the hospital with dad.

This is your little sister Leila.

He was more interested in playing peek-a-boo in the curtain 

Pointing out her nose

I’m amazed at how well Caleb has been handling all of this. Sunday morning he woke up to my friend Cathryn Parker getting him out of bed since she slept over when we went to the hospital. Then Allen picked him from the Parker’s house and brought him to the hospital once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

My mom flew in Sunday night so when he woke up Monday morning, my mom is who got him out of bed and brought him to the hospital to see Allen, Leila and I. He never cried when leaving me or after I left him, which is surprising since he cries for two hours straight every week when left at nursery at church. (I think that says something about our nursery than about Caleb… ) I’m the one who has cried when he leaves because I miss him and am not used to being away from him!

Preparing for a Baby

March 4-10, 2013

I'm at a 2! This is huge for me! With Caleb I didn't dilate one bit until after they started the induction. In fact, I wasn't even at a 2 when Dr. Syal broke my water. Being at 39 weeks, it makes me hopeful that maybe I'll have Leila early or on-time. This pregnancy I didn't have heartburn nearly as bad as with Caleb but have had frequent contractions and sciatica issues with both. This time I've been tired enough (thanks to Caleb) to sleep most nights, even when I'm uncomfortable and have bad dreams. I do have to get up to pee a lot though. It's almost as though something is pushing on my bladder. . . :)

In anticipation of perhaps having Leila early, I did a lot of cleaning and errand-running and worked on Caleb's curtains. And we still went to the park every day.

Friday night there was a girls' night that Cathryn hosted. We just ate and talked for an hour. It was fun.

For the past week or two, while Caleb is taking a bath I have been soaking my feet in the tub. He has started to help me wash my feet every night. It's really cute! Caleb also loves to help Dad when he is getting changed after work. He helps Al take his socks off and puts his dirty clothes in the hamper for him. (In case I forget to mention this later, he still does it almost every day 8 months later.)

Eating is still a messy business.

He chases the bubbles all over, we just keep them in the bottom of the stroller so we can use them any time we're out. Same with the sidewalk chalk.

Blowing bubbles. (I sure look like the baby's due in two days, but she stayed for an extra week.)

This little boy has my heart! He just reached up to hold my hand as we were walking home.

We have a huge bucket of 100 cookie cutters. Caleb dumps them out and we play with them. He asks me what the shapes are by holding them out to me. This was a new game he came up with. He would put them on the stool and then push the stool around without letting them fall off. He got frustrated when he kept getting to the carpet and they would dump over.

(Looking back, as I'm doing these updates almost exactly one year from when these pictures were taken, I can't believe that I was having another baby when Caleb was such a baby! It felt right and we were excited and I wouldn't change the way we did it for anything. But, wow! He was just a cute, little guy and has grown up so much in the past year!)